A couple years ago I attended a Native American Sweatlodge ceremony up in the Santa Cruz Mountains of California. Over the course of 5 hours I was led through ritual chanting, praying, not to mention sweating off a few extra pounds. During this journey we invited our spiritual guides to join us in the sweatlodge, and that little wigwam was brimming over with incredible power, love and wisdom. The message I received from the guides was this: learn to become absolutely vulnerable, live life outloud with a heart wide open, therefore inspiring others to do the same through my example.
It immediately reminded me of the quote by Marianne Williamson: “And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.”
We must be grateful for the low points in life, for it is most often then we decide to reflect upon ourselves, our purpose, and choose to make a change. I readily accepted the mission given to me in the Sweatlodge that day, and it indeed caught me in a period of transition, much like the present moment as I write this blog.
Have you ever wondered why it is so difficult to live vulnerably, to completely be ourselves without the need to defend, feel ashamed or instinctively put up barriers? We are ultimately all on the same journey; we are here to love, evolve, help others, explore what it is to be human, and to remember what it is to be divine.
Aiding my study of ‘what it is to be human’ occurs when I play with the notion of connectedness to all souls. At times I can I look at a complete stranger and think, “I am you and you are me. You are my brother/sister soul.” Sometimes I will send a burst of love and think, “I love you” in my mind sending it as a gust from my heart. It’s fun to do this with complete strangers. Some of them smile, others seem perplexed, a few whip around fast like, “What just hit me!?”
My own journey of mastering absolute vulnerability and living with my heart wide open is one of continuous practice. There are things about me that I’m not proud of, but no longer beat myself up anymore. The baggage we carry is self induced…at any moment we can decide to lay it all down. If we were all to forgive the skeletons in our closets and agree to be transparent, the world would definitely be a different place than it is now. And what does it feel like when you begin to play with an open heart? It actually does feel like a physiological opening, warm, eternal, imperturbable even. Once you get it going, it is difficult to stop, because it feels incredible.
Living in love also requires a certain level of un-learning habits and releasing the garbage we’ve accumulated over time. In my 27th year of existence I began my serious spiritual quest for truth; it felt as if I was deep underwater and swimming for the top so I could finally breathe. There wasn’t a book I couldn’t consume fast enough, a new seminar to attend or an evolved guru or mentor I wouldn’t seek guidance from. In time I realized there was an exceptional amount of knowledge I’d gathered, but I still didn’t ‘get it’. Imagine making a protein shake and filling a glass of water to the top and dumping a spoonful of protein on it. The displacement of water retains most of the powder floating at the surface. I was the protein shake, keeping all the potential wisdom in the world from mixing inside me. Alas, knowing your truth is very different than being your truth.
One of my most profound teachers of “love” is Lester Levenson, a man sent home from the hospital to die, and in his fleeing moments of life discovered the answer to everything is self-love. (Experiencing this at the core allowed him to heal fully and live a long life teaching others around the world his discovery in a way that everyone could learn and practice it.) He teaches how suffering boils down to the need for control, security or approval. We control because we feel out of control, we yearn for security because we lack the feeling of safety, and we disapprove of others and ourselves simply because we do not first give ourselves genuine approval. Another word for disapproval is non-love feelings. Eureka!
We all fall down. We are all presented with opportunities to learn from harsh lessons. The difference is in how we choose to react; are we embarrassed and hide our tough times from others and pretend everything is perfect? Do we stay down when life takes a hit, scared to get back up knowing there will be harder hits to come? Or, like a Phoenix, do we repeatedly rise from the ashes as many times as it takes, always a little bit wiser, stronger, and a more compassionate human being?
I’m reminded of a favorite book/movie quote from “A Peaceful Warrior”: A Warrior is not about perfection or victory or invulnerability. He’s about absolute vulnerability. That’s the only true courage. -Socrates
It takes courage to examine ourselves in the mirror of life, and to let go of ego and resistance. It takes courage to remove our protective shield, for if we truly love ourselves we lack nothing, and a shield is unnecessary. “Absolute vulnerability” becomes quite the oxymoron, as one realizes they can never ever be hurt, taken advantage of, or offended, if they love themselves.
I’m presently composing my 33-year-old Life Manifesto and I’m going to ruin the ending epiphany for you right now. The greatest adventure in life is to love; love yourself, love your family, love your friends and enemies, and love the world. Become a walking ball of love, and all the magic of the Universe is yours.
Love is thee greatest power, and so this Christmas give yourself, (thereby all others) the best gift ever, and love yourself.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson
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Powerful and brilliantly stated Amie. YOU are such a beautiful example of loving energy and continuing to expand to the ‘naked’ and wonderful power of complete transparency. Keep writing.. and I look forward to seeing the book one day very soon! Yes.. Your Guides are very clear YOU must hear this once again.. so begin to write and all will be cared for. Thank YOU for sharing such a beautiful creation with all of us.
Comment by Stephanie December 26, 2010 @ 5:03 am