Two months ago my sister was in a car accident that should have been fatal; in fact the police, wrecker and ambulance driver were all in complete amazement that she walked away from her totaled vehicle without a scratch. This incident was a huge wake up call for me in a number of ways.
I vowed to myself that day to become more present in the moment, to love and appreciate the people in my life often, to laugh more, risk more and absolutely ‘suck the marrow’ out of every moment, because every moment is a gift. And my sister’s accident kept me inspired for a while…and then I began back-sliding.
Our comfort zone is highly seductive. I was reminded of this when I flipped on the TV a few days ago and one of my favorite thought-provoking films was playing: “Fight Club”. The scene was with Brad Pitt, who threw a convenience store worker on his knees and put a gun to his head, assuring him that he was about to die. The worker begged to live and Pitt calmly began interviewing him, asking what the man really wanted to achieve in his life. With a gun to his head and imminent death near, the truth came quickly; the guy had wanted to become a veterinarian but the schooling was too hard so he took a complacent job that he hated. Long story short, Pitt sent the convenience store worker home while his co-star, Edward Norton, looked on incredulously. What caught my attention was Pitt’s explanation of what that man would experience: “…Tomorrow will be the most beautiful day of his life. His breakfast will taste better than any breakfast than you and I have ever tasted.”
I started thinking, “What would flash through my mind if someone had a gun to my head telling me I was going to die?” Would I feel satisfied with the 33 years of life lived so far? Would there be regret for things I wished I’d done, anyone that I failed to forgive or expressed my love and appreciation?
Frankly I’m not willing to wait for a near-fatal car accident or firearm pointed at my noggin to give the answers to those questions. Wake-up calls can be subtle or startling, and I took a cue the last few days as I evaluated my behavior. Somewhere in the journey of becoming who we want to be and who we habitually find ourselves at the present moment, we forget to live each day fully alive. Our minds float blissfully into the future: “Someday I will launch that company. One day I will run a Triathlon. Someday I’ll take my family on that trip to Hawaii, learn to speak French, and go visit Great Aunt Edna…” All those ‘somedays’ become stale wishes never realized.
“Seize the moment. Think of all those women on the ‘Titanic’ who waved off the dessert cart.” – Erma Bombek.
We are loaned 86,400 seconds in each day to create life the way we want to …yes, we are absolutely powerful creators. We design our lives. (Let that marinate for a moment.)
Instead of beating myself up for my recent life dullness and complacency, I got proactive about it. What did “living alive” mean to me? In reflection it meant starting each day with zeal and gratitude, practicing new things continually, experiencing ongoing stimulation and creativity, feeling and expressing deep love and appreciation of all things and all people, and stepping over that line we call our “comfort zone”.
So how do we do that?
Here are a few ideas I came up with and you, reader, are invited to use any or all of these:
Every morning before my feet hit the floor I remind myself to be grateful and thank God for another day of existence. I write in a ‘gratitude journal’ that catalogs and praises all the abundance in my life. I not only feel, but tell people I appreciate and love often–that’s a truly impactful way to live alive. Why are we so hung up on saying the words, “I love you”? Play with this energetically saying/sending love to everything and everybody in your life continually, and you will be amazed at how good you feel…and the response you get back. Build into your life small ways every week to push and stimulate yourself, i.e. read a new book, travel somewhere, (even locally) that you’ve never been before, make a new friend, buy and eat an exotic food you’ve never tried, indulge in something because you’re worth it and drop the feeling of guilt or unworthiness, get out of your own head via service and help someone else, or create your own lifelong and yearly “Bucket List” and enjoy knocking those items one by one.
A Bucket List is a list of things people write down in hopes of accomplishing before they die; before they kick the bucket. It’s great in theory, however few people actually tackle a significant percentage and find themselves at the end of their lives wishing they’d experienced more. I’ve created a yearly ‘Bucket List’ which I share at the end of this Blog; the items mentioned make me feel alive, and I feel much excitement to check off each one.
Many of the things we dream of experiencing in a lifetime require risk, and so often these goals and dreams are shelved for that reason–because we are scared to fail; scared to try. At the end of our lives are we really going to worry about what so-and-so thought of us, how perfect our lives appeared to the public, striving to maintain this ridiculous societal notion of what’s appropriate, and existing in the “should zone”? Heck no! In the final moments and last breaths, we hopefully will recall our profound abundance in life, rich with memories, love, friendship, experiences, lessons and legacy. This is the true stuff in life. God-willing we all live long lives; and let us respect the present, as we never know how long we have on this planet.
I metaphorically equate myself to a ‘Bull in a China Shop of Life’ who went rushing through, hungry to experience everything I possibly could quickly, and getting cut along the way. In 33 years of existence I’ve traveled the world, (and found myself in some hairy situations) made and lost fortunes, launched and closed multiple companies and gone through 2 divorces. Will I make money, start new companies, travel internationally and fall deeply in love again? (Insert Wisconsin Accent) “You betcha!”
Nobody is going to live our lives but us. So let’s live them full blast, uninhibited, wholeheartedly, and let us decide to do this every single day. I’m handing you a pen; what will you write for your life?
Amie’s 2011 Bucket List:
1. Hike the Grand Canyon
2. Get a 2nd Tattoo
3. Read 4+ Books per month (of varying genres)
4. Become Team Elite with NuSkin and help many of team do the same
5. Take my mother and sister on a Cruise
6. Scuba somewhere tropical
7. Write my 33-year-old Manifesto
8. Become debt-free
9. Visit musical/opera/concert/theatre productions monthly
10. Build a financial legacy for my mother
11. Visit Malawi, Africa on a Nourish the Children Mission with Nuskin
12. Stay in a Tree-house hotel
13. Become a moderate Spanish speaker/writer/reader
14. Sleep under the stars: Desert, Mountain, Beach
15. Watch the whales migrate in Baja (Dec)
16. Wine taste in an international region
17. Grow fruits/veggies successfully from my balcony
18. Take a trip to Thailand with my sister
19. Learn how to say 10 things in many major languages
20. Upgrade all my gadgets/technologies
21. Take a Gourmet cooking class
22. See favorite bands in concert, i.e. Aerosmith, Michael Buble, Black Eyed Peas
23. Get good at wakeboarding & wake surfing
24. Go on a shopping spree for my new size: 3/4
25. Visit Sedona on a spiritual quest
26. Complete my 2011 Endurance Race Calendar
27. Start a new wine collection/wine fridge/wine club memberships
28. Try 1 new exotic/unique food per week
29. Buy my dream BMW with cash
30. Host and entertain friends/family in my home monthly+
31. Learn how to play basic guitar
32. Live alkaline with daily use of Blendtec (green drinks) and alkaline water filter
33. Place Top 20 for the “Run For Malawi Challenge”
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